Who I Am
My son Jason joined me on a silent kayak retreat in Alaska
It’s a really simple practice, but it points to where the inward journey of meditation takes us. And it is meditation. Any time, any day.
I am Bruce Davis.
This is how I show up in the world, for the most part. It’s how most people see me, and when I’m busy getting things done it’s how mostly I see myself. It’s my role as father, it’s my self-image as a meditation teacher, it’s my history as a physician and a Unitarian minister. It’s my name with the IRS. It’s the owner of my car and my house.
I am Bruce.
Those who call me “Bruce” have a different idea of who I am. People close enough to me to use my first name or nick name know more the heart of me. They know they can rely on me to be kind and gentle. Bruce loves beauty, loves nature, loves garden soil. They may recognize playful qualities that are harder to identify in the more formal “Bruce Davis.”
I am.
Still me. Drop the formal roles and seriousness. Drop the more personal qualities, the laughter, the child-like wonder. What’s left? Not nothing. I am left. Here, now, is “I am.” Fully awake. Empty of action and thought, full of just being. Pure potential, ready to become a “Bruce” or a “Bruce Davis.”
So, take a break. Step aside from the busy-ness. Sit down. Close your eyes.
Say “I am ___________” (first and last name). Now pause. Feel the implications of that name. Say it again. And again. Feel who it is to be you when someone uses that name with you or about you. What’s it like to be ___________?
Now let that go. And say “I am _____” (first name only). Feel that? Say it again. And again. Remembering how people may use that name fondly, personally, even intimately. Who are you as this person? What’s it feel like to be _____?
OK, let that go. So just say now, “I am.” (only that) Feel that you are. Awake. Quiet, settled. Say it again. And again. Feel the presence of the body. Feel the spaciousness of your awareness. Aware of being aware. Who are you now? What’s it like just to be?
This movement to more subtle qualities of self is sometimes referred to as “transcendence,” because it means going beyond a previous level of experience into something deeper, more intimate, more peaceful. Any practice that does this is truly “meditation.”
This “Who I Am” exercise may draw you to explore other meditation experiences. Or, if you like it, it can just be your meditation.